Different

Why do I want this, I never should,
I always ruin anything good.
And though I wish for it in my dreams,
I'm too afraid of balance it seems.

No lover before ever really could touch me,
love was fun, laughter and awfully free...
But he, he is different, my rules don't apply, 
so I need some distance to step out of line.
And as head over heels I run and take flight
I realize it's just myself that I fight...